Live DELIBERATELY
amyrosetomlinson
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit amyrosetomlinson's Xanga Site!

Name: AmyRose
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: St. Louis
Birthday: 6/14/1984
Gender: Female


Occupation: Student
Industry: Other


Message: message me
Website: visit my website


Member Since: 9/26/2005

SubscriptionsSites I Read
vancejk
staceface
livn4h2
zachthequack
Je55eM
mo_mt45
squeaky_mouse
landofparadise
skeye
merganross
AndrewAmis
deliveredjude
quierosalir
wantinmore
mmt_15
iloverileys
karenxelaine
seekhimfirst7
EmpressJosephine
ButtsyinBomo
stombo
Soxroxmysoxoff
AzucarMama
blogthings
cowboymaloy
In_Response_to
tpenny
God_and_Ballin
sparing_amy
TechWhite
SilverTears07
Shanaenae_joy
Mr_carl
elisatomlinson
RaquelBerry04
parmenides
Andrsn83
RoughDraft1002
One_Divine_Girl
nae03
na_homie

Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Sunday, January 04, 2009

To Africa

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Four days til' take off.

The most commonly asked question has been the following: "Are you ready?" No offense to the 50million friends and family that have asked. . .but the answer is a resounding NO. How the heck do you become 'ready' to be away from all friends and family for 6 months straight!?!?!?! Is there some sort of 'how to' manual I forgot to read or was completely unaware of? In a foreign country. A foreign language. With nothing but 50lb. of essentials and a carry-on full of vaccines and altitude meds.

I am supposed to be sad, I think. That is the general consensus anyway. Leaving behind a serious dating relationship. A family. My 7 MBCH girls. My dream job. etc. etc. etc.

But I am not. Probably only because I am in denial. And I will not realize that I am going, until I am there.


". . .And she will run again one day
This time far from here
Where deadened and content
Dwell they whom comfort fear. . ."


Friday, May 23, 2008

Missy Higgins says it all. . .

"Where I Stood"

 

 

....'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood........


Monday, April 14, 2008

In Mount Vernon--or, "The Vern," as dear corY affectionately calls it--drinking dark chocolate coffee at the Kean Bean coffee shop on the Loop.

YUM.

Jack Johnson is serenading. I have my free wi-fi. 

The sun is finally shining, although it is a ridiculous 42 degrees out.

And today...........is MONDAY :)   transition day. go home to bolivar day. i get to see my two favorite people in bolivar day!!!!!!!!!

 


Monday, March 10, 2008

Yesterday afternoon, some friends and I were driving through downtown Kansas City as I noticed a homeless man sitting on a bench on the side of the road. Was he holding a “Homeless—Need $--Anything will help” sign?  No. Nor did he have a grocery cart with all of his belongings, or a body-sized bag strapped to his back. But there was a homely, hopeless air about him that said so.

 

I immediately searched my bag for my camera, not because I make a habit of taking pictures of the homeless, but because I  love pictures of adorable old men, and he most definitely fit this description. I successfully captured several pictures while at the red light, and then contentedly glanced through them as we drove away.

 

And then I got a kick in the gut.

 

As I looked through my pictures, suddenly this adorable old stranger of a man was not so adorable any more—he was broken.

 

He was cold, in his layers of all the clothes he owned. He was hungry, for more than food and water and boos. But at least I got my picture. At least later I could show off my completely candid black and white and tell the story of how I didn’t stop and help a hurting man.

 

As we drove, I ached. We arrived at the Jerusalem Café and as we ate I kept an almost constant gaze out the window, ½ hoping he would round the corner next, so I could have another chance and touching him, ½ pleading he wouldn’t, so I didn’t have to. And then, the 6 of us walking to the Tea Bubble—we passed him, sitting on the steps with another homeless man, just a few doors down from our destination.

 

 

Damn it.

 

 

As we walked inside and began to look at the menu, my very first taste of the famous ‘bubble tea’ was the absolute last thing I could keep on my mind. My aching heart seemed to be pounding more fiercely by the minute, as God and I got into quite the argument.

 

AmyRose.

What???!

You know what. Go talk to him.

No.

Go talk to him.

I don’t want to.

Didn’t you ask me to open your eyes to the broken?

Maybe.

Did you mean it?

(insert annoyed sigh)

Go talk to him.

Why??

Because I told you to.

No.

Go—TOUCH HIM.

 

 

This conversation went on for several long, intense moments, until finally my answer was an irritated “Fine!”  Rather than a deliberate “No!” Without much of an explanation or really without any at all—I exited the Tea Bubble, hugging my gray pea coat close to my chest as I briskly walked down the street back to the steps where I had seen the man, who now had another homeless friend sitting beside him.

 

Screw standing up and looking down on them as I spoke.

 

“Do you mind if I have a seat here with you, sir?”

 

If you could imagine, for a moment, a nearly toothless, gray-bearded old homeless man, who had just been approached by a 23-yr. old/young woman on the busy streets of Kansas City, and the overwhelmingly thankful smile that I saw, I assure you, your heart would have broken into a million little pieces.

 

As scattered as the conversation that followed was, it is nearly impossible to recount exactly what was said. Partly because as the man and his friend talked, it was often at the same time, and I could only pretend to understand all that they were saying J

 

But I will tell you that my absolute favorite part was when my picture-perfect old man sang the Lord’s Prayer to me, accapella, hands half-raised, nearly toothless smile shining, nearly blind eyes squinting. I have no idea how that hymn actually goes, but I made quite a fetal attempt to sing along. What was at first a delicate serenade, soon became a melodic/harmonic duet; and though at first my off-pitch voice was barely audible, by the time we got to the ending “AMEN”—I was literally belting the harmony at the top of my lungs.

Again, an absolutely priceless smile—as he gently punched me on the shoulder and grinned, “Look at you, girl!!”

 

I explained moments later that I was actually with a group of people that I needed to get back to, and asked if they minded if I pray with them before leaving. I don’t know that I have ever seen any Christian as ecstatic as they were that I was willing to go before Him on their behalf. They were more excited about the prayer-to-come than they were when I first approached them on the steps.

 

There is a difference between grabbing the hands of a fellow-believer during a prayer, and grabbing the hands of a homeless man.  The ‘Christian’s grasp tends to be weak, and limp. And it is usually only done during house-church communion, mission trip meetings, or group dinners; and only because it seems to be the Christian, unifying thing to do. There is a complacency there—a lifelessness.

 

A homeless man’s grasp, however, is strong and passionate, and sure. Because he grips as if he is holding on for dear life, and for Hope that he yearns for but has not yet seen. He holds on firmly, because he knows this moment, with this stranger on the street who saw that his heart was bleeding, may only once happen, and never again.

 

 

After embracing them both and thanking them for allowing me the opportunity to sit and talk with them, I quickly walked back to the Tea Bubble, graciously thanking Him over and over again for moments He had just blessed me with. I thanked Him for opening my eyes to the broken, and for breaking my heart for their need.

 

I thanked him for my candid photo and street-side serenade. But mostly, I thanked Him for a man named Moses.

 

DSCF6349

 

 

 

 

 

 


Monday, January 28, 2008

Last night while sitting in the passenger seat, chomping on french onion sunchips with the heat blasting, listening to David Crowder under the Bolivar stars with a dear friend....    i realized i couldn't possibly be more content than i was in that moment. 

God is very good to me. And i hope to repay him one day better than i do.



Next 5 >>